Top Tasks for Neurotypical Partner
Habits that improve versus destroy:
Increase self-soothing (meditation etc) and self-care practices (activities that calm your nervous system and energise)
Take responsibility for your own needs and wants and use clear, concise and effective communication techniques to make requests
Avoid reactivity and criticisms of character - Talk to the best in your partner
Accept and reframe your partner’s behaviours as ‘different wiring’ and avoid personalising or taking to heart matters unintended to hurt
Turn frustration into compassion, understanding and gratitude (calming the amygdala)
Challenge negative thoughts and narratives and foster humour
Beware of taking the parent role (with child) or the victim role (with villain)
Develop a mindset of being on the same team and problem solve together
Develop curiosity about your partner’s experience and the effect your behaviour has on them.
TOP TASKS FOR Asperger Profile PARTNER
Habits that improve versus destroy:
Do things regularly that let your partner know that you care about them and that they are important/matter to you/appreciated by you
Write lists/reminders/schedules and stick to them
Practice flexibility, going with the flow and putting yourself in others shoes
Practice active listening skills and effective communication techniques
Improve emotional awareness and expression of self and needs
Love yourself and accept all of yourself – gifts and challenges
Apologise with “regret, responsibility and remedy” when you disappoint others
Take responsibility for your own behaviour and avoid taking the child or villain role – step up and be honest with yourself and others - ask for help if needed
Develop curiosity about your partner’s experience and the effect your behaviour has on them
